And now, back by popular demand: Anita!
Excuse me, I need to step out back to feed my ego.
RESPECT THE RED
Trying to explain Doctor Who to my mother, who knows ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it…
It just sounds so awkward.
“So his name is The Doctor, and he regenerates, so there have been 11 so far, and each one has a companion whose usually a girl, and then Eleven is like, “You’re Scottish, fry something!” And David Tennant is actually Scottish, but he puts on an English accent for the show, and he’s so gorgeous but he’s a brilliant actor and whenever he looks sad I bawl my eyes out…”
And my mum is like:
And I can’t even slow down, I’m just like:
And she’s like, calm down.
THE STORY OF HOW I SAW NEO ON THE BUS.
So I was on the bus and the guy across from me was sitting really still.
Like, oddly still, with his arms just sitting by his sides. And he was wearing reflective shades, yeah? So I couldn’t see his eyes AT ALL.
And he’s just sitting there, completely still, with a black jacket and shades. And he kind of looked like Keanu Reeves.
I was like, OKAY, NEO. THIS IS NOT THE MATRIX.
Then I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing my ass off. Then I texted my friend and she goes: How do YOU know this isn’t the Matrix?
And I was like… I N C E P T I O N.
Matrixception… FUCK
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Title:
A Useful Striker (Feat. The BBC National Orchestra Of Wales)
Artist:
Murray Gold
70 plays
A Useful Striker - Murray Gold
It’s Doctor Who football music!
Just listen, you will feel better about life.
My mother just found my progress report from PRESCHOOL.
And apparently I’m pretty much the exact same person now as I was in 1997.
Here, excerpts:
“Articulate, strong willed, hesitant to try new activities, anxious… strong sense of right and wrong…”
“Her classmates ask her to play, but she often chooses to play alone.”
THE BACK IS SO SHORT AND FLUFFY!
(via icoulduseinsouciantmaybe)
I know y’all don’t care, but I just got a “C” in Calculus when I’m fairly certain I should have failed…
Failing one of the two tests and not taking the final tends to do that…
Yet somehow this translates into a C…
SOMEONE DIDN’T PASS THEIR MATH CLASS (BUT IT WASN’T ME)
Hi, I’m John Green. New York Times best-selling author and Printz novelist.
(via busymissizzy)
THAT CAT HAS A MUSTACHE.
I am terrified of waking up one day and finding my dog dead.
She’s already ten years old and she has a heart problem that is getting progressively worse.
I am just so scared of walking over to wake her up and having her just… not move.
I’d honestly rather have to put her to sleep. I could deal with that.
My grandma wants a family portrait for Christmas.
That’s it, that’s all she wants.
…
and I just dyed my hair black on a silly whim.
At the grocery store. Orange juice was available as:
- No Pulp
- With Pulp
- MORE Pulp
- LOADED With Pulp
They did not have the other levels which are, in order of increasing pulpitude:
- Loaded With Even More Pulp
- Extra Loaded With Lots Of Pulp
- Holy Shit, That’s A Lot Of Pulp
- Seriously. There’s A Lot Of Pulp In This Motherfucker.
- Stop Fucking With Me. Who Would Want This Much Pulp?
- I’m Not Fucking With You. There’s So Much God Damned Pulp In This Sumbitch That You Should Forget A Straw Because You’ll Need A Fucking Ladle.
- Screw The Ladle. Get A Carving Knife.
- No Longer Juice. Slightly Damp Pulp.
- An Orange
Ag
This is EXACTLY the kind of shit that makes me CRY with laughter.
There are tears STREAMING down my face right now.
It’s honestly hard to believe that he is a real person sometimes
(via bluedoctorwho)
THE NOISES I AM MAKING
